What it is like between two worlds with CI'S

What is like between two worlds. When you're between two worlds. The hearing world and the deaf world. The hearing world is sometimes gets frustrating, it gets mad with one who wears a hearing aid or just has trouble hearing but.... it is sometimes asked. "You have a hearing aid? Why don't you turn it up? And then they shout and say,"well, I have to shout for you to hear me" but yet we tried to tell them to look at me! Don't turn your head, don't look down..... just look straight at me so I can read your lips.

And there's times we just want to break down and cry, and keeps saying to ourselves,"why can't people understand?"It's not that we don't want to hear them, we do. It would be nice if people from the hearing world could just take a moment and put themselves in our shoes and think about how we feel. Like I said on hearing journey, people take their hearing are granted and there's times I've wished that they could see that before hearing loss happens to them. Some of us have lost our hearing from allergic reactions, sudden deafness, slow losing their hearing, some were born that way, some have lost their hearing from her car wreck. And so on.

Like the teacher that I did a speech for was telling me. When she was younger in her teen years, the doctors had told her she needed to protect her hearing in the years to come she will lose it and she said I told the doctors not need but now she wished she had h protected er ears.

During that time that I was wearing a hearing aid, I was trying to fit in to the world. The best I can to learn sign language. I was trying to understand them if they were trying to understand me and tell them that I was hard of hearing and that I did know very little sign to help me. But as they knew I'll wore a hearing aid. They said you are a hearing person, and I told them yes. Let on hard of hearing and that I had two use sign language, and lip reading to understand what people are saying. And they said okay.

When I got my first CI. I was really nervous on way is going to be like. I remember when I first met Jennifer Thorpe. She was so patient and understanding, and she knew exactly how I felt. I was so excited about seeing her that I was talking really fast. I realized that I was talking to fast. She was telling me about the implants and how they work. She even put a fork on her head where the CI magnet is, so it stuck for he boys to see. And this was in a restaurant. She had us all laughing and made us feel wanted.

She wasn't there the day I had surgery and she and her daughter Katie came into the recovery room and gave the boy's cookies. She let me know that everything must be okay, But it's going to take time and a lot of hard work. When I first got my CI turned on it was music to my ears. I was so excited that day because I could hear her for the first time after 48 years. My son was with me that day. The audiologist and Jeremy and I were laughing so hard that tears were flowing down our faces. When I got my second CI . My husband was with me that day and he had tears rolling down his face when I heard his words and understood every word.

A cochlear implant is a blessing in that they make lives better through which we can have a normal happy life. To me it's a gift and advanced bionics has given me and thousands of others the ability to have happiness in hearing. I'm able to enjoy my music, to be on the phone , and to be able to understand people in a conversation over the phone and not even knowing that I am hard of hearing. Just to be able to feel like I'm welcomed into the hearing world, but yet between two worlds. The reason why is that a bad is the night, I am in the deaf world in total silence, very lonely world, very quiet and scary, there are times I'm worried if there will be a big fire or someone breaks in, in many other things! Every morning I tell my husband and my children thank you so much for giving me the opportunity to hear them again by that many had the surgeries. I do not know what I would do without my CI'S. I am so grateful to have online friends like Kim, Eric, Sam, Evelyn, Sylvia, and Jennifer and so many others that I have met when I first came to hearing journey. I hope this can help others that are going through the hardships that we all have with our hearing on chat and on the forum

Jeremy playing in the band for the first time

On a beautiful September day, Springfield middle school is having their homecoming game it was Jeremy's first time playing with the band at that game and it was my first time going to the game with both cochlear implants. It was exciting to be able to hear them play at the game.

Jeremy did a awesome job and he looks so good up there with the band. It was amazing to be able to hear the band play. I was especially enjoyed it when they were playing "wipeout". The young gentleman that was playing the full set of drums is in the eighth grade and he will be leaving and it will be going to high school next year. Jeremy is learning how to play"wipeout"on his drums to where he could take his place and play" wipeout" at the games. James and I were there to support Jeremy at the game and it was his first time. And I am proud of my son for doing a fantastic job.

How thing have been going!

Jettchen Now
Jettchen as a puppy
Laura and me with my family in Maryville, Tennessee ref="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLZqjeaPW9-6QJbY0b5QVkaWzlQGln-rAmn6EJ2DAgXEXB_RQ2_iWo02CU3JhBdYF9RgcaNrH2kk3j-seIbD74nd-kkdfFjAK8BIe6kPoonjW0taoVCYlPh_jFnb4KyM5ymhLaPQzIlFY/s1600/Dollywood%252Cpigeon+Forge+and+maryville+007.jpg"> Jean, Rusty and me at the old Mill restaurant
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James,Jeremy and my nephew
in Dollywood park

my niece Grace
this is my Brother and Sister at Dollywood park

It's been a year since I've been on here and I know it is very long time! I have not had time to get on here. I had been doing great, hearing new things all the time. I had been very busy doing listening exercises to improve my hearing since the last time I was on here. I had been having mapping every three months trying to get a balance for both sides and I've been working on trying to find that balance.my audioloist said I was doing great on my hearing and that I was doing better than she anticipated on the left ear. I also have been very busy speaking at the Springfield middle school in 2010 and doing reports about cochlear implants at the school.

I've also been busy with my boys and my grandchildren. I've been enjoying the sounds of the laughter and excitement from grandchildren and our boys when they are having a great time. In July 2010, and I got to see my brother and my sister and my niece and nephew in Dollywood in pigeon Forge Tennessee. This was their first time sent me with my cochlear implants and they were amazed on how well I was hearing.

I got on the roller coasters and I had to push myself up to keep me from hitting my head on the bars that I come to realized that he was too risky to get on the roller coasters but I had fun watching my niece and nephew with my brother and the rest of them get on all the roller coasters. Also went to the old Mill restaurant in pigeon Forge and got to meet with Jean Rymer and Rusty in person and had a wonderful time at lunch. Also got to meet Laura in Maryville, Tennessee for lunch on the way home.

In September 2010 John bought a meeting German Shepherd puppy and she was six weeks old I named her Jettchen. I have been very busy taking her to training at Nashville dog training center for opiates classes and to socialize in the public. She's doing wonderful in her training. Also was worried about not able to understand the teacher in the class as I was working with Jettchen, because we were moving all the time in the ring. I had James or Jeremy go with me to be sure that I understand what they were saying. But I did not have a problem and that made me feel good.

In November 2010 on Thanksgiving I had a wonderful time, able to communicate with my family and to understand everything that they were saying to me. It's wonderful to know that you can hear and understand everything that someone is saying to you. But I do know that we have our good days and our bad on the hearing. And we have to try to let people understand that what they have to put themselves in our shoes and when we don't understand them.

December 2010 was very cold and wintry month. We be in quite a bit and did not do very much. We had a lot of snow days, or we would have snow fights, and we would go sledding. A Christmas time I had made Christmas dinner and we had Lebanese food and spent time with family to spread Christmas cheer and laughter. But this was the first time with all of cochlear implants. It was amazing to be able to hear the laughter and the joy of Christmas music and the children being excited or what they got for Christmas.

In January 2011 it was John's birthday on the 14th and mine was the 16th John decided we would go out to eat for our birthdays. At the restaurant it was amazing that I can able to hear and understand what was being said in a noisy and loud restaurant. After that we didn't get out much in January because it was still snowing and the boys for school for almost 4 weeks due to snow.

In March 2011 I went to diner for a new mapping program because I was having a hard time understanding. One program on my left side was too loud in it was overpowering the right. We figured out that I had Hi Res fidelity 120 paired in my left ear and then we had Hi Res fidelity 120 sequentrial in the right. So we played around with the mappings and come to tribe filed with Hi Res fidelity 123 sequentrial and found that I had better balance. One side was not overpowering the other. I did the replacement has in the listening room and I had gotten a 100% involve cochlear implants. I had been working a lot on listening.

In May 2011 Jeremy got a drum set and start taking drum lessons and James got a new guitar and also was taking lessons. Since then, I have been getting really busy on taking them to lessons. During the summer I have been working in the yard and going on the Greenway and listening to beautiful sounds of birds and crickets and water flowing while I was taking Jettchen and Digger walks.

August 2011 is the beginning of the school year and I have been trying to get it ready to get the kids started in school. James in the eighth grade and Jeremy is in the seventh and in the band this year. It's hard believe. that my children are growing up so fast and they are teenagers.

How things went on the second bilateral mapping

Sorry I haven't got back in posting, but things have been a little busy! While I looked over the notes I took with me that day, my audiologist asked how I liked three programson the left ear.I told her that I did the replacement test and found out that program 2 on the left ear give me a score of 88% alone, and in the right ear I was giving score of 91% alone and with both ears. It was only given me an 82%, and she said that the higher frequencies on my left ear need to be turned to more and she turned them up.... and WOW.... what a big difference. She tell me that the programs on my left ear was scoring at 88% was Hi Res P. fidelity 120 and she said all three programs to the Hi Res P. fidelity 120. The first program is for noisy places, such as a room with the TV going with people talking in the background or restaurants. Program two was for everyday listening and program three is for everyday listening just a little bit louder.

Then we did the right here and said I was doing really well on that here and that he will probably be the leading ear. She asked me what programs I would like on that one ear, and told her that I like program three. I told her that I figured out that I her bare with program two on the left ear and program trading on the right here she told me she did not tell me what programs were on the right ear and for me to try them out for one month. She said so you like the right here on to the Hi Res S fidelity 120 and said that she was going to program the right ear to the Hi Res S fidelity 120. So the programs for the right ear is program one is for noisy places program two is for everyday listening in the program three is for telephone for home and cell.

The boys were with me that day I had to take them to the doctor. I could understand their doctor and he was really happy that I could here and I could understand him and he didn't have to repeat each thing that he was saying. He also told me that there was c a young couple with their little baby is seven months old and is probably going for the cochlear implants I told him about hearing journey.com and that there were lots of parents of children with cochlear implants. And that they could get a lot of information and support that they need and that the members would be very happy to answer questions that they may have and concerns about the cochlear implant. As I was walking I could hear noises and I didn't know what exactly it was it was thinking it might have been the boys video games making the noise. We went on and I got out of the car and started walking I heard it again. I only heard it when I was walking then I realized it was claimed in my pocket that was making the sound and that I could also hear digger's tag on her collar jingling. I'll so now know what the mouse on the computer makes a noise but since the mapping is really really loud clicking noise and high in no now why when I'm on the computer and John is trying to sleep that clicking noise in keeping him up in the computer was in the other room. I'm hearing a lot of new sounds that I've never heard, and it's amazing what a little bit of tweaking can do to your hear better and it's is awesome. I do not have to go back to the audiologist until I know the difference in my hearing. She asked me to do the replacement test to see what my score is. When I got home I got all my listening room Clix advanced listening practice with both ears and I took the test and I got a score of 93% you talk about someone being excited I was so excited that I was jumping up and down and squealing in the delight. I never have gotten that high on a score. And I was like the people on. hearing journey-it gets better and better. I will keep you posted is on some of wow moments in my progress.

My First Bilateral Mapping

February 4,2010 I went to get my first bilateral mapping.... Well here is what happen that day! I got there at 10 am CST and John could not go with me and that was OK! I understand with the type of job he has! While I was waiting to be called back, there was a new CI patient I was talking with. He asked me how I was doing with CI and I told him that I was there for a tune up and he and his wife laughed. There was one other person asking about the Chochlear implant and I told him how it works.

The new CI patient was telling me that Donna told him to go to hearingjourney.com to the listening room and that he can work on the clix to improve his hearing. He said that it look like something a kid would use. I told him that your brain is like a newborn baby and it is relearning and you have to work hard at it and if you do not work at it you will not get better. As I was talking, Donna came out and asked if we are having a party and that she would join us and we all laughed and said yes. She asked what we were talking about and I told her that I was telling the new CI patient that he needs to work hard to retraining the brain to hear better; that it is not a quick fix and that it take time and a lot hard work. Donna said you have heard it from someone that knows and that she had been there and that she had her first implant for one year today!!

Donna called me to the back and she ask how things were going for me. I told her that I hear better with Hi Res 120 then the regular program. I just could not understand speech at all without the 120. So she put me on the P Hi Res 120 on all 3 slots. We talked and she was telling me that I was talking to her without looking at her to read lips and the (left)processor was not in at all. It as awesome and we were getting excited that I was doing so well.

She was concerned about changing the radio frequencies and that the (right)might not stay locked. Well we tried it to see what would happen and it stayed on with no problem. She thinks that I was swollen where the magnet was. During this time we had the(left)processor on and each time she turned on the (right)ear the (left) would have a static sound. It finally stayed static long enough so we could try figure out what was going on. When we put on the body processor it stopped. The problem was the processor itself. Donna called AB to tell them that the processor they sent is bad. And what was next. Will there's more. She said that the number on the processor did not match the number on the box at all. Then Donna kept looking at the (left) ear and ask if my ears hurt at all and I told her that the right did I figured it was from the surgery.

She had me go to see Dr.Schwaber (her husband) to see if everything was okay. They looked in my ears and he said that Donna was worried about the left ear and come to find out that the right had a small infection in it but, not to bad of one. His nurse told him that she was trying to get the wax out of my ear and that she seen dry skin flips in my ear. she was trying to get them out and he told her do not do that they will come out on their own. He gave me ear drops to put in my ears and told to put them in twice a day for four days. He said I should come back to get my new processor from Donna on Monday Feb 8Th at 3 p.m. and that we will try to do a mapping. Donna and Dr.Schwaber were shocked on how will I was doing with the right ear alone.

On the way home I was listening to music and I could understand the words to the song and it blew me away. I was shocked I could hear that with the right ear alone and I was not to wear the left processor until Monday. Then I got stuck behind a really bad weark. I could hear all the fire trucks, police cars, ambulance coming behind me.Iam thankful that I cound hear them because it was a two lane road. I had to call John so he would not worry and I could hear him on the phone and it was just the second week since activation. When I got home John called on the home phone and I could hear and understand him.

I am so even though not everything has worked. I can hear with the one ear for now and I'm happy to say that as long as I can hear that I'm truly blessed. So that what happen that day!!!

Unexpected Appiontment

On Friday January 22, I got up to get John off to work. We were setting at the Kitchen table having a wonderful conversation and laughing and we were both so happy that I could hear so well and things were going pretty good. Later I took James and Jeremy to school and I was hearing very well.

While I was paying for James's lunch in the cafeteria I was talking to the cafeteria manager about the implant and how it works. She said that she had a grandson that has a hard time hearing.I told her how to get in touch with hearing journey.com and Advanced Bionics and to set up an appointment to see if her grandson qualifies for the chochlear implant. Then all of a sudden my right ear a sound and then it was not connecting. The sound was like a sonar ping in a submarine indicating a target. I called Dr.Donna Schwaber and told her what was happening.She ask if I tried changing the magnet and I told her yes, that I even tried the battery and the t-mic and I could not get the environmental sound in the room. I could only hear that one sound. She said that the processor was not working and that she would call Advanced Bionics and see if they can send me a new processor overnight and I told her thank you very much.

The next day the new processor came and I changed the processors out and the new processor was making the same sound and I was getting really worried it might be something serious. I called Dr Schwaber at her home and she told me to come in on Monday January 25 at 2 p.m. and we can see what going on.

That Monday I went in and they called me to the back and Donna hooked me up to the computer. The first thing she noticed was that the processor was cutting itself off and she told me to relax. It was the lock and that the two magnets were not locking. She tried a new setting to see if they would lock and they would still not lock. She said that she had to change the radio frequencies in order to get it to lock. After that , my left ear started having a static sound. I called her back and told her what was going on, She said for me to call Advanced Bionics and talk to them. So I called them and they believed it was that two magnets on my left ear were bad and they sent me two new ones. Well, it wasn't the magnets. I called Danna back, and she said that she thinks she can fix it. That it could be something she can fix and it may be the radio frequency that she changed on the right ear that might be causing it. So I go tomorrow to get everything right. Thanks to my family,Audiologist(Donna), friends from hearing journey and face book for their support.

Bilateral Activation

Me with my new processor on and to show you a new trick thatDonna show me.

Dr.Donna Schwaber head Audiologist and me with her Husband Dr.Mitchell K.Schwaber M.D. This is the husband and wife CI team that is so good to me.

Two weeks ago on January 21 I had my activation day. John was with that day and in no time they called us back. She asked me how I was doing and if I was ready for the big day! I told her that I was very excited and that I was keeping my expectation low and she said that's a good idea.

She told me that things would sound robotic again, and to be patient and it might go away in a few day or weeks. John asked her if it's almost like a radio transmitting frequencies and she said no. Nothing like that and she explained to him how it works.

She hooked me up to the computer and told me to take the left Chochlear Implant off and told me to be quiet and still while she tested the electrodes. As she was testing them, I could hear the electrode fire up and she turn the computer to where I could see how it works. Each time the electrode was fire up it was a higher pitch. As I was watching, all 16 electrodes were fired up and I was getting excited as I was hearing all the different pitches as each was turned on. It was totally different from the first time because all I could hear was beep beep.

She told me she would be turning the processor on and after she turned it on, she ask me "Can you hear me or understand what I'm saying? I said yes and I broke down in tears. I was so excited because I could understand her and John without the left chochlear implant on and not looking at her all the time.

She had me put on the left processor and she asked me how things sounded with it. Things sounded normal and she was getting excited because she said that a good thing and that I would do really well on that right ear. She had me on three programs and of them are hires P 120 and one is not.

She asked me to try each one for a couple of days to see how they sound and to let her know and we can go from there. She said that I will see you in one week, but the appointment had been change to February 4 at 10 a.m.